2005-07-20 - 9:00 a.m.

Props to dooki for being the only person to raise more than a dimissive finger to my dream lyric U2 follicle challenge. Well, not the only person. Someone on a band�s forum to which I post has not only written lyrics, but has recorded the thing, singing and playing guitar, and made a wav file out of it. Unfortunately his submission has had to be rejected because a) he hasn�t followed the supplied score for the given lines and b) he has recorded the thing, singing and playing guitar, and made a wav file out of it. Yee. I�m sleeping with a cricket bat under the pillow, make no mistake.

Now. The world of what I think You Internet Kids call the meme is somewhat beyond me. Mainly because no-one ever invites me to �Name the First 5 tracks that come up on your mp3 player!!!� or �List your three favourite tramp smells! And pass it on!�, or �rewrite the last page of your favourite book in the style of the person who sent you this note while wearing your cat and post a picture of it on a website suggested by the third person on your buddy list!?&!!%!!!?!?!� Or whatever the hey it is you crazy blograts get up to in your sweaty e-dungeons, with your webcams and your podcasting and your myspace.

I probably don�t even mean meme, do I? You�re all laughing at me, like the staff of the Apple Store when I went in and asked for a One-Pod.

Anythehellway. This is why I�m slightly reluctant to launch my own little pass-it-on scheme. Because you�re probably going to tell me it�s an idea as old as Earth�s core. I already feel like I�ve run into a particle physics lab excitedly waving a sketch of a Spinning Jenny.

Well�screw you.

I present: The Mix Chain.

Here�s the idea. I send someone a compilation cd (from now on, I�ll call it �mix� for the sake of brevity but don�t think I�m kissing US bumhole by forgoing the correct (UK) term). Then they send their own mix CD to someone else.

I think you can see where this is going.

If you are the first sperm to my particular egg (see below) I would ask you to cut and paste these instructions, which should both answer your questions and demonstrate the inevitable breathtaking unoriginality of the idea, into your own blog.

Lord�a�mercy, I am a link in The Mix Chain!

I will send a free mix CD to the first person who leaves me a note / signs my guestbook asking for one.

The tracks will be entirely of my choosing. They will be selected to delight and entertain. And possibly project a sense of nonchalant eclectic cool designed to jolt the recipient into the knowledge that their feeble CD collection and anaemic gamut of musical taste can in no way rival my glittering display of hipness and savvy.

I will not include a tracklisting with my CD.

The first person to leave a note, as described above, agrees to continue the Mix Chain by cutting and pasting these instructions to their own weblog/journal and sending a mix CD of their own to the first person to note them as instructed.

Before you leave a note for me, make sure:
1. You have the facility to receive notes / guestbook signatories (otherwise the chain will be kaput)
2. You have the facility to burn CDs for when it's your turn to give (otherwise duh)
3. You have not previously formed a link in the chain (Mr. Greedyface)
4. A bunch of people read your diary. (Mr. No Mates)
5. You are prepared to subsequently e-mail your address to the person to whom you�ve left the note.
6. You can be arsed with the whole thing. Remember, when it�s your turn, you�ll have to burn the thing, go to the post office, buy a jiffy bag and post it. Maybe to another country. Ooh, hard work.

In the event of me having more than one note-leaving facility, notes on this actual entry will take precedence, followed by notes on my notes page, followed by notes in my guestbook

The recipient of my CD agrees to leave me a note giving feedback on the CD they have received. Only after this has been received will I publish the tracklisting so the recipient and everyone can see what a cutting-edge dudatron / lame toolmuncher (delete as app.) I am.

The recipient of a CD should not post these instructions on their own blog until they actually receive the CD from their own benefactor. And notes left on people's blogs in anticipation of them posting these instructions don't count either. ie - if you see someone's noted me, you can't immediately note them to get ahead of the game. Now let's all just stay calm and walk slowly towards the exits.

This Mix Chain was started at: http://mousemilk.diaryland.com, the home of mousemilk, one of the world�s ten finest occasional diarists with a small mammal and a dairy produce in their name. Ever since weaselcheese�s accident, anyway.

When it looks like it�s ground to a halt (diaryland: �Whaddya mean, �when�?�), I�ll note the last person and complete the chain. Hey, it could be fun. Or rubbish. Now if you�ll excuse me, apparently I have to take a picture of myself reading Mein Kampf and wearing the cat.

Profilage - Previosity - Nextitude