2005-01-03 - 12:42 p.m.

In the last year, these are the best of the Google search terms which have brought the sick of mind to my diary. I commend to you:

10. �The Bobby Fuller Four: I Fought the Law�
667 Google matches
A group, a song. Carefully and comprehensively searched for. It�s almost enough to make you think non-mental people use the internet. But then:

9. �Jokes about murder�
64 matches
Boy, I wish I was around to hear that Best Man�s Speech.

8. Rodin birthday cards
3900 matches
Yeah, he�s been dead since 1917. Still, it�s the thought that counts.

7. Tim Henman jokes
3620 matches
That wedding reception�s turning into comedy gold, isn�t it?

6. Ryan Giggs, gay stories.
6510 matches
Perhaps an optimistic search for overly specific gay sport fanfic. In which case �gay sport fanfic� may have been a better bet.

5. no spermatazoa in liquid
189 matches
Sorry Johnny Clearjiz, you�ve come to the wrong clinic. Try www.wateryspunk.com, you blank-popping gimp.

4. Gay manual strangling.
13,500 matches
Is there a gay manual which tells you how to strangle? Or did he mean Manuel?

3. Grace Kelly fuck
134,000 matches
Step away from the vehicle, sicko.

2. �I want to be sucked off�
64 matches
Don�t we all? A plaintive cry in the cyber wilderness from someone who seems to misunderstand how Bobby Google�s miraculous invention actually works. If you want bl0w job pix, type that in. If you want to be sucked off, get out more.

1. Shrek Utilitarian
647 matches
Surely an attempted Googlewhack? I mean what bizarre thesis, what pointless research project could lead someone to pair up those search terms? Am I missing some obvious connection between John Stuart Mill�s social philosophy and a loveable green ogre? And yet, 647 matches.

You are all freaks.

Happy New Year.

Profilage - Previosity - Nextitude