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2005-01-20 - 10:00 p.m.

I want to see it, not remake it

What happened:
�One for The Aviator, please�
��11*, please�

What should then have happened:
�I�m sorry, I thought you said �11! How ridiculous an amount would that be to see a film!�
��11, please�
�Oh..oh I see � because I happen to have come to the Warner Village in Le-
�It�s called �Vue� now, sir�
�Ah yes, the �Vue� in Leicester Square, I am being charged tourist rate to see a film.�
�Pretty much, yes.�
�Just because Leicester Square is associated with film-going�
�Yes.�
�Primarily because of the enormous Odeon cinema behind me which regularly hosts premieres.�
�That�s it.�
�And which is quite distinct from the frankly ordinary Warner Vil- Vue cinema at which I�m now being fleeced.�
��11, please.�
�And which is thus justifying ludicrous ticket prices merely by geographical association.�
�The film starts in ten minutes, sir.�
�And tell me, in which of your warren of fetid screening rooms is the film showing?�
�Screen 1�
�Ah, Screen 1. This would be the flagship screen with state-of-the-art seating and sightlines, and superb sound and picture quality?�
�N-no, it�s the skanky converted basement with about sixty seats and damp.�
�Ah, in that case I assume my exorbitant ticket price offsets the research and development costs of technology which allows one of the stars of The Aviator, Kate Beckinsale, to come alive from the screen and wank me off while her co-star, the slightly-irritating-as-Katherine-Hepburn Cate Blanchett feeds me golden popcorn from a diamond bucket, you fucking rip-off bandit bastard?�
�There are people waiting, sir.�
�Here. How much are the Maltesers?�
�A million pounds a bag, sir. Or did you want the large?�

15.89 Euros; $20.5


How am I driving?
5 pennyworths so far

Profilage - Previosity - Nextitude



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