The Hand that Cradles the Rock

2005-04-22 - 10:19 a.m.

Pope & Poop II: 24 hours in the life of the net

12:26:09 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe poo&meta= 12:11:32 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=r@dcliffe shit&btnG=Search... 12:10:27 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=r@dcliffe shit&btnG=Search... 11:50:05 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&rls=GGLD%2CGGLD%3A2004-42%2C... 11:41:45 www.google.be/search?num=20&hl=nl&q=nazinger&btnG=Zoeken&m... 11:15:18 www.google.co.uk/search?q=poo p@ula m@rathon&hl=en&lr=&sta... 11:09:53 www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLD... 11:09:29 www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLD... 11:02:47 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe - Did she ... 10:35:08 members.diaryland.com/edit/view.phtml?user=mousemilk 10:27:03 members.diaryland.com/edit/profile.phtml?user=themark 10:26:49 members.diaryland.com/edit/profile.phtml?user=themark 10:12:54 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe shit&meta= 10:11:08 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe shit&meta= 10:05:43 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe poo&meta= 09:53:43 hubbabub.diaryland.com/buddies.html 09:49:59 www.google.co.uk/search?q=p@ula%20r@dcliffe%20shit&hl=en&l... 09:48:11 www.google.co.uk/search?q=p@ula%20r@dcliffe%20shit&hl=en&l... 09:37:07 www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=m@rathon r@dcliffe shit&meta= 09:36:37 www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=m@rathon r@dcliffe shit&meta= 09:19:34 search.msn.com/results.aspx?FORM=MSNH&srch_type=0&q=vidoes... 08:27:13 www.google.ie/search?hl=en&q=r@dcliffe shit&btnG=Google Se... 08:27:02 www.google.ie/search?hl=en&q=r@dcliffe shit&btnG=Google Se... 08:11:20 aolsearch.aol.co.uk/web?query=p@ula r@dcliffe shit&locatio... 08:10:01 aolsearch.aol.co.uk/web?query=p@ula r@dcliffe shit&locatio... 07:40:15 www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&c2coff=1&client=f... 07:13:46 search.skynet.be/index.html?l1=search&l2=google&l3=home&a=... 06:41:42 www.google.co.uk/search?q=p@ula r@dcliffe poo&hl=en&lr=&sa... 06:41:16 www.google.co.uk/search?q=p@ula r@dcliffe poo&hl=en&lr=&sa... 06:40:57 www.google.co.uk/search?q=p@ula r@dcliffe poo&hl=en&lr=&sa... 06:20:10 www.google.be/search?q=nazinger&hl=nl&lr=&start=10&sa=N 06:18:30 www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mo... 06:15:52 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe poo break&... 05:52:18 www.google.co.uk/search?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3... 05:46:36 www.google.co.uk/search?q=r@dcliffe%20shit&hl=en&lr=&safe=... 05:42:35 www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=p@ula r@dcliffe shit 05:19:12 www.google.ie/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=p@ula r@dcliffe... 04:59:36 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=%22p@ula r@dcliffe shit%22... 04:57:41 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=%22p@ula r@dcliffe shit%22... 04:15:03 members.diaryland.com/edit/viewnav.phtml?user=mousemilk&re... 04:14:54 members.diaryland.com/edit/view.phtml?user=mousemilk 03:26:45 www.google.de/search?hl=de&q=%22Cardinal Nazinger%22&btnG=... 03:10:05 www.google.com/search?q=p@ula%20r@dcliffe%20poop&hl=en&lr=... 02:38:06 www.google.be/search?hl=nl&q=cardinal nazinger&meta= 02:35:03 members.diaryland.com/edit/buddies.phtml 01:23:57 kristintracy.diaryland.com/050114_88.html 01:23:10 members.diaryland.com/edit/buddies.phtml 00:47:23 www.google.com/search?q=p@ula r@dcliffe poop&sourceid=mozi... 00:46:14 www.google.com/search?q= p@ula r@dcliffe shit&hl=en&lr=&sa... 00:01:31 www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe poop 00:00:26 www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe poop 23:53:10 www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe poop&btnG=Go... 23:29:15 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=r@dcliffe shit&btnG=Search... 23:21:51 www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Pope Poop XVI 23:14:38 www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe poop&btnG=Go... 23:13:24 www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe poop&btnG=Go... 22:01:16 www.google.it/search?hl=it&q=r@dcliffe poop m@rathon &meta... 22:01:05 www.google.it/search?hl=it&q=r@dcliffe poop m@rathon &meta... 21:27:58 members.diaryland.com/edit/viewnav.phtml?user=mousemilk&re... 21:27:45 members.diaryland.com/edit/view.phtml?user=mousemilk 20:54:20 www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLD... 20:52:20 www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&rls=GGLC%2CG... 20:28:19 members.diaryland.com/edit/profile.phtml?user=xquzme 20:27:11 members.diaryland.com/edit/profile.phtml?user=xquzme 20:25:58 members.diaryland.com/edit/profile.phtml?user=xquzme 20:23:35 www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&c2coff=1&client=firefox-a&... 20:22:16 members.diaryland.com/edit/profile.phtml?user=xquzme 20:09:01 www.google.com/search?q=p@ula r@dcliffe m@rathon shit&hl=e... 20:08:26 www.google.com/search?q=p@ula r@dcliffe m@rathon shit&hl=e... 19:58:30 toolbar.search.msn.com/results.aspx?FORM=TOOLBR&q=radcliff... 19:56:28 www.google.co.uk/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GG... 19:43:38 www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=%22p@ula radc... 19:42:56 www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=RNWE... 19:37:38 www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=RNWE... 19:32:52 www.google.com/search?q=anurag dikshit&hl=en&lr=&c2coff=1&... 19:31:44 www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLD... 19:29:39 www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLD... 19:19:57 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe poo&btnG=G... 19:03:49 members.diaryland.com/edit/buddies.phtml 18:06:17 www.ntlworld.com/searchresults/search_ntlworld.php?safe=of... 17:40:25 www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&rls=RNWE%2CRNWE%3... 17:38:50 www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&rls=RNWE%2CRNWE%3... 17:23:36 members.diaryland.com/edit/buddies.phtml 16:32:29 europe.google.com/search?hl=nl&q=p@ula r@dcliffe shit&lr= 16:32:24 europe.google.com/search?hl=nl&q=p@ula r@dcliffe shit&lr= 16:32:21 europe.google.com/search?hl=nl&q=p@ula r@dcliffe shit&lr= 16:31:06 europe.google.com/search?hl=nl&q=p@ula r@dcliffe shit&lr= 16:15:10 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=p@ula r@dcliffe shit&meta= 16:00:26 www.google.be/search?q=nazinger&hl=nl&lr=&rls=GGLD,GGLD:20... 15:59:00 members.diaryland.com/edit/buddies.phtml 15:04:46 www.google.co.uk/search?q=p@ula r@dcliffe pee OR toilet OR... 15:03:04 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=p@ula r@dcliffe s... 14:53:59 aolsearch.aol.co.uk/web?query=p@ula%20r@dcliffe%20poo&loca... 14:52:27 www.google.be/search?q=nazinger&hl=nl&lr=&start=10&sa=N 14:50:20 aolsearch.aol.co.uk/web?query=p@ula%20r@dcliffe%20poo&loca... 14:42:41 hubbabub.diaryland.com/buddies.html 14:40:02 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=%22p@ula r@dcliffe%22 poo .. 14:39:01 www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=%22p@ula r@dcliffe%22 poo ...

Let�s break that down. First the most popular searches:

15 x r@dcliffe Shit
10 x p@ula r@dcliffe Poop.
9 x p@ula r@dcliffe Shit
8 x p@ula r@dcliffe poo

All pretty much to the point. We want to see p@ula r@dcliffe having a shit, and we want to see it now.
But I like:

m@rathon r@dcliffe shit
p@ula r@dcliffe m@rathon shit
Poo p@ula m@rathon
r@dcliffe poop m@rathon

All of which evoke the image of Britain�s Favourite Athlete engaging in some kind of charity cackathon. I�m not sure whether you�d sponsor her by total shitting time or per yard of do. Presumably someone from the Guinnness Book of Records would have to be out with a stopwatch and a ruler. Would she be allowed to eat as she went? Or do the shit m@rathon rules state one set of stomach contents only?

My last entry was, let�s remember, in two halves. One half concerned the momentous election of a new Pope, an incredibly significant worldwide event in the lives of over a billion Catholics. The other half was about a woman having a shit in the street. The Pope story attracted 6 internet searches. The story about a woman having a shit in the street attracted 61.

The Pope searches included:

Videos of Pope
pope nazinger
2x cardinal nazinger x2
2x nazinger

The p@ula r@dcliffe ones included:

p@ula r@dcliffe poo break
london m@rathon p@ula shit
and the prosaic:
p@ula r@dcliffe having a shit

I also like the investigative style of :

Paul r@dcliffe - did she poop?

But my favourites are:

"p@ula r@dcliffe" AND "steve cram" AND london m@rathon 2005 AND shit

and

p@ula r@dcliffe pee OR toilet OR shit OR piss

I love the steely determination. The leaving of nothing to chance. The ruthless scouring of the global information database in the quest for details of a skinny bint squatting in the gutter to expel faeces from her gut.

One searcher, though, excelled all these in entering a search term which covered both stories. What in the name of sanity were you looking for when you googled:

Pope Poop XVI ?

How am I driving?
7 pennyworths so far

Profilage - Previosity - Nextitude