Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries

2005-09-30 - 10:24 a.m.

Moltiple Urgasm

Dear Amazon -

I recently ordered the cd 'Turds on a Bum Ride Vols 1&2' from you.

Instead of this, you sent me the cd 'Orgasm' by Cro-Magnon.

I returned the cd, carefully explaining the error, and on September 15th you offered your profuse apologies and confirmed that 'Turds on Bum Ride Vols 1&2' had been despatched in its place.

I received the new package a day or two later. Imagine my surprise when I opened it to find: 'Orgasm' by Cro-Magnon.

Perhaps you think I would really enjoy 'Orgasm' by Cro-Magnon. Perhaps a former member of Cro-magnon works in your warehouse and is engaged in his own personal viral marketing crusade. Perhaps you're just trying to see how many times you can make me type 'Turds on Bum Ride Vols 1&2' (it's seven so far, including the four in the letter I sent you the first time you sent me 'Orgasm' by Cro-Magnon). Whatever the reason, you've now twice sent me 'Orgasm' by Cro-Magnon, despite the fact I've never ordered it, nor, indeed, had I ever even heard of it before you sent it to me instead of 'Turds on a Bum Ride Vols 1&2' (that's eight).

Despite the inconvenience of doing so, I am sending 'Orgasm' by Cro-Magnon back to you for a second time and I await in its place a copy of 'Turds on a Bum Ride Vols 1&2'. Although when I open your next package, I will of course half-expect to see, nestling in its cardboard packing tray, the now-familiar clumsily-rendered horror-fantasy tableau cover of 'Orgasm' by Cro-Magnon.

I wonder if we might establish now what should happen in the event you send me 'Orgasm' by Cro-Magnon for a third time? Will I be allowed to keep it, as the Brazil World Cup team of 1970 were allowed to permanently retain the Jules Rimet trophy? Or will I be offered a tour of the Amazon warehouse, where I can perhaps meet some of the staff who are incapable of distinguishing the cd title 'Orgasm' from the admittedly similar 'Turds on a Bum Ride Vols 1&2'?

I look forward to hearing from you, and also, with little confidence, to receiving 'Turds on a Bum Ride Vols 1&2' (that's eleven).

Yours sincerely,
Mousemilk


How am I driving?
6 pennyworths so far

Profilage - Previosity - Nextitude



about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!