2006-05-04 - 4:56 p.m.

I have been a member of Lovefilm since March of last year. Since when I have rented twenty films from them. Lovefilm costs a tenner a month. This means it�s cost me about �7 a film to date. This is rubbish. I am cancelling my account because I don�t watch enough films. The final straw was keeping a half-watched Barry Lyndon for about two months in the belief that I�d make it to the end. I mean, when it arrived I sat down to watch it with a friend. We sat through what felt like, ooh, four hours of Thackeray-inspired hi jinx, until finally a caption appeared:

INTERMISSION

I mean, I like Kubrick, but fuck me, that one goes on. And Ryan O�Neal�s accent, I believe, won the 1976 Dick Van Dyke award for sounding like Earth�s massivest twat. Anyway, I digress. This month, at the end of which I mean to cancel my membership, I�m determined to get my �/film down as much as possible. My Lovefilm record to date, as many of you will doubtless have already calculated, is 1.429 films/month. I mean to wring the bejesus out of the last tenner they�re ever getting from me. I will keep you posted. You can recommend films, if you like. Here�s what I�ve seen so far.

Station Agent ,The (Being shipped today)
Rushmore
Barry Lyndon
Anchorman
Garden State
National Treasure
Vera Drake
Birth
Fahrenheit 9/11
Ramones - End Of The Century
9/11
Capturing The Friedmans
Sexy Beast
Secret Window
Cypher
Collateral
A Mighty Wind
Old Boy
Touching The Void
28 Days Later
The Day After Tomorrow

Yes, all right, Barry bastard Norman, save your wisecracks about National Treasure and Secret Window. And here�s what�s still in my queue:

The Apartment
Closer
Coffee And Cigarettes
Team America - World Police
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
Palindromes
Downfall

My aim is to watch them on the day I get them and send them out the same night. It's a tall order. Obviously I can't binge as I have to wait for each one to arrive. Still, I trust you will all spur me on to great economically-sound dvd-rental heights.

Profilage - Previosity - Nextitude