2005-07-05 - 4:39 p.m.

What I'm enjoying about Live 8 is hearing how the world's TV companies apparently ruined it by cutting away to commercials, interrupting songs to cut back to presenter chit-chat and so on.

Of course the BBC didn't do that. Except in the middle of REM's Man in the Moon, when they cut away to interview two fey ponces from Razorlight. The BBC's mistake there was not cutting away in the middle of Everybody Hurts instead. Or indeed after three seconds of it. How ironic that an anti-suicide anthem should make me want to bathe with a toaster.

You don't know how fortunate you were to have your coverage riddled with commercials. If only that had happened here, we might have been saved the sight of idiotic pea-headed shit-voiced skankjockey junkie shaft Pete Doherty failing to duet with Elton John.

And we might have avoided enduring the machine-tooled soulless-soul stylings of lion-faced ingenue Joss Stone. If Joss truly has the voice of Tina Turner, Mavis Staples and Aretha rolled into one (wouldn't want to be stuck in that lift), does this mean there's a 19-stone 40-year-old black woman somewhere in the southern US who is only capable of saying "Merm, Oi just be off up to Spar fer a coupla Pot Noodles. You wanna copya TV Quick?" in the voice of an 18-year-old white girl from Devon?

Also, well done to Barrie for being Live8's lowest-profile host venue. Canada apparently. I Googled it so you don't have to. And what a line-up!

African Guitar Summit
DobaCaracol featuring K'naan
Les Trois Accords
Tegan & Sara

and the list goes on. Hope you bagged a spot at the front! You could argue I'm being over-selective and mention that Deep Purple, Jet and Barenaked Ladies also appeared, to which I'd reply, yes, exactly.

I think inspired by Barrie, Barry in Wales should have had their own really shit Live 8 show. Just think of the bill...

MOUSEMILK'S LIST OF THE DAY
Top acts who might have appeared at Shit Live 8 in Barry, Wales.
7. Craig McLachlan and Check 1-2
6. 2 Unlimited
5. Charles and Eddie
4. B*witched
3. Pliers (Chaka Demus unavailable)
2. Oasis
1. The Crazy Frog

Profilage - Previosity - Nextitude