2005-08-23 - 4:28 p.m.

So two mornings after I do this, next door's back staircase looks like this:

By that afternoon, it looked like this:

I shit you nicht. Two days after they see me go gothic, they brazenly rip off my whole black schtick and large it up. I mean, keeping up with the Joneses' is one thing, but this kind of one-upmanship can only end one way.

I think you know where this is going, don't you readers?

You know what's great about the internet? I couldn't be b- what? Porn? Yes, yes, that's great about the internet. But I was going to say that I couldn't be bothered t- what? Stuff on my cat? Yes, very good. I cou- what is it now? Flipbook? Look, when I said "You know what's great about the internet?", it was a rhetorical question, ok?

Actually, Flipbook is quite good. Here's one I did earlier.

What was I- oh yeah. I couldn't be bothered to take a photo of the flat next door for was essentially a repeat of what was already weak visual joke from my last entry. So I searched for an image of a similar flat - and found a picture of the actual flat next door. Well, the flat downstairs is for sale, and hence is on an estate agents website. I like to think that they put it on the market expressly to assist me in the composition of this entry. But this is London. The idea that people would move house simply so a neighbouring internet diarist wouldn't have to go outside and take a picture of the adjoining flat for use in a weak visual joke in his journal WOULDN'T EVEN OCCUR TO THESE SELFISH BASTARDS.

Schmupdate 2:

I think I've found Simon Martin's favourite shop - and it's got a sale on!:

Profilage - Previosity - Nextitude